Proverbs 25.20 "Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart."
Jesus promises us in Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted."
I have attended many funerals. Like all funerals, Christian or not, they are a sad occasion for the families that have lost their love ones. Like most people, I attend the visitation or the funeral service in order to offer my condolences and encouragement. We never really understand the latter side of the beattitude - "for they will be comforted" until we, ourselves, have suffered a similiar loss. It truly teaches us what it means to comfort others.
All of us respond differently when these occasions come upon us. For some us, it is too painful to go and console others, because the loss of our loved one is still so very real. For a couple of years, after my mother's death fom ovarian cancer, it was extrememly difficult to attend visitations. I did anyway because I knew how important it was to receive comfort, to know that others were thinking of me and my family. Within 6 weeks of my mother's passing, my husband's father died unexpectedly, and three other funerals took place that year; friends whose mothers had passed. Standing in the long vistation line, waiting for our opportunity to share our sympathies seemed like an eternity. The closer I got to the grieving family the stronger the sense of loss came back to me. When I arrived to convey my feelings, I would lose it every time. That deep, sorrowful lump would leap from my chest into my throat, leaving me speechless, with only a heartfelt, wet hug to offer.
There is nothing wrong with tears and grieving with others. God grieved and was sorry he had created mankind (Genesis 6:6), Jesus himself wept over the death of his friend, Lazarus (John 11:30-36), Jesus told his disciples that they would grieve for a little while, but that their grief would turn to joy (John 16: 16-22), the believers grieved the death of Stephen (Acts 8:2), they mourned the death of Tabitha (Acts 9:36-39), the elders of Ephesus cried and grieved when the Apostle Paul told them that he would not be returning (Acts 20:35-38), and we know that when we do not rid ourselves of bitterness, anger, rage, slander, and every kind of malice, we grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4: 29-31)! Why does the Holy Spirit grieve, because the wage of sin is death! Death brings loss, and loss brings a grieving heart.
There is this false Christian ideal floating around, and has for some time, that when someone who is a Christian passes away that we should not grieve, but rather rejoice! "They are in a much better place" is the common phrase of comfort. The adoption of this attitude comes from that frequently quoted Scripture from I Thessalonians 4:13-14, "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14 We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him." Yes, the Scripture says we do not grieve like those with no hope. The Scripture does not say, we do not grieve at all. Yes, we grieve, but we grieve with hope! It is this hope that gives us the peace and strength to keep living on in Christ, because we know, though loved ones are no longer with us, we will see them again.
Proverbs 25.20 tells us, "Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda (wound), is one who sings songs to a heavy heart." Friends, there is a time to sing a song, to rejoice with others, and then there is a time to mourn with others. Romans 12:15 encourages us to do just that, "rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." I remember very well when my mother passed. The vistation line lasted for three hours. People I knew and people I didn't know stood in line to let me know how much my mother meant to them. I was surprised by the attendance of dear friends of mine, I had not seen in years, come and express their sorrow. It meant everything to me. It brought great strength to me in those hours and days following her death. There was one exception that evening. One encounter that did not comfort me. A women came through the line expressing her excitement, rejoicing about my mother's home-going. At that moment, I thought, she might as well have come in wearing a party hat and carrying a cake with candles. Awful thought, I know. I didn't know her. She didn't know my mother. She knew my uncle. She went to his church. I understood where she was at. I understood that she didn't understand the beattitude that Christ spoke about - those who mourn shall be comforted. I understood that day, that she missed an opportunity to comfort, to grieve with hope with someone. That day, her rejoicing felt like a blast of cold wind.
Not the kind of blog that leaves you inspired, I'm sure. I read that Proverb today and was taken back to that moment in time. I was not offended by her behavior. It may be that she had never lost anyone close to her, yet; unable to express empathy in the form of words or an embrace. A comforting embrace is a universal language that brings strength to those who grieve. People need to know they are not alone in times of loss. When we have Christ, we have the blessed hope of eternity with us to share. When we walk in the fullness of the Holy Spirit, the Great Comforter, then we possess the ability to comfort others. Save your song for another day. In time, you will be able to sing that song when their hearts are not so heavy.
"Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted."
Jesus promises us in Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted."
I have attended many funerals. Like all funerals, Christian or not, they are a sad occasion for the families that have lost their love ones. Like most people, I attend the visitation or the funeral service in order to offer my condolences and encouragement. We never really understand the latter side of the beattitude - "for they will be comforted" until we, ourselves, have suffered a similiar loss. It truly teaches us what it means to comfort others.
All of us respond differently when these occasions come upon us. For some us, it is too painful to go and console others, because the loss of our loved one is still so very real. For a couple of years, after my mother's death fom ovarian cancer, it was extrememly difficult to attend visitations. I did anyway because I knew how important it was to receive comfort, to know that others were thinking of me and my family. Within 6 weeks of my mother's passing, my husband's father died unexpectedly, and three other funerals took place that year; friends whose mothers had passed. Standing in the long vistation line, waiting for our opportunity to share our sympathies seemed like an eternity. The closer I got to the grieving family the stronger the sense of loss came back to me. When I arrived to convey my feelings, I would lose it every time. That deep, sorrowful lump would leap from my chest into my throat, leaving me speechless, with only a heartfelt, wet hug to offer.
There is nothing wrong with tears and grieving with others. God grieved and was sorry he had created mankind (Genesis 6:6), Jesus himself wept over the death of his friend, Lazarus (John 11:30-36), Jesus told his disciples that they would grieve for a little while, but that their grief would turn to joy (John 16: 16-22), the believers grieved the death of Stephen (Acts 8:2), they mourned the death of Tabitha (Acts 9:36-39), the elders of Ephesus cried and grieved when the Apostle Paul told them that he would not be returning (Acts 20:35-38), and we know that when we do not rid ourselves of bitterness, anger, rage, slander, and every kind of malice, we grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4: 29-31)! Why does the Holy Spirit grieve, because the wage of sin is death! Death brings loss, and loss brings a grieving heart.
There is this false Christian ideal floating around, and has for some time, that when someone who is a Christian passes away that we should not grieve, but rather rejoice! "They are in a much better place" is the common phrase of comfort. The adoption of this attitude comes from that frequently quoted Scripture from I Thessalonians 4:13-14, "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14 We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him." Yes, the Scripture says we do not grieve like those with no hope. The Scripture does not say, we do not grieve at all. Yes, we grieve, but we grieve with hope! It is this hope that gives us the peace and strength to keep living on in Christ, because we know, though loved ones are no longer with us, we will see them again.
Proverbs 25.20 tells us, "Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda (wound), is one who sings songs to a heavy heart." Friends, there is a time to sing a song, to rejoice with others, and then there is a time to mourn with others. Romans 12:15 encourages us to do just that, "rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." I remember very well when my mother passed. The vistation line lasted for three hours. People I knew and people I didn't know stood in line to let me know how much my mother meant to them. I was surprised by the attendance of dear friends of mine, I had not seen in years, come and express their sorrow. It meant everything to me. It brought great strength to me in those hours and days following her death. There was one exception that evening. One encounter that did not comfort me. A women came through the line expressing her excitement, rejoicing about my mother's home-going. At that moment, I thought, she might as well have come in wearing a party hat and carrying a cake with candles. Awful thought, I know. I didn't know her. She didn't know my mother. She knew my uncle. She went to his church. I understood where she was at. I understood that she didn't understand the beattitude that Christ spoke about - those who mourn shall be comforted. I understood that day, that she missed an opportunity to comfort, to grieve with hope with someone. That day, her rejoicing felt like a blast of cold wind.
Not the kind of blog that leaves you inspired, I'm sure. I read that Proverb today and was taken back to that moment in time. I was not offended by her behavior. It may be that she had never lost anyone close to her, yet; unable to express empathy in the form of words or an embrace. A comforting embrace is a universal language that brings strength to those who grieve. People need to know they are not alone in times of loss. When we have Christ, we have the blessed hope of eternity with us to share. When we walk in the fullness of the Holy Spirit, the Great Comforter, then we possess the ability to comfort others. Save your song for another day. In time, you will be able to sing that song when their hearts are not so heavy.
"Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted."
